On becoming aware of our feelings

In my few years in Japan, I became true friends with only 2 Japanese. I used to hang out with one of them all the time. We spent more time with each other than with anyone else. One day I saw him feeling irritated. I asked “what happened dude”. “Learning new language makes me anxious, when I learn new vocabularies in English, I discover new feelings in me” he replied “sometimes it is better to be not aware of some feelings. But once you become aware of it, there is no going back. It stays with you forever”. His words made me realize 2 things:

  1. I didn’t realize that I had been discovering new feelings in me, until I was told so. And reflecting on myself, it become clear that I was picking up new feelings all along. The reason I did not realize till then is because I wasn’t looking into myself. I was blind to what was happening to me. Things are only visible to the people who actually want to see it. I think it is same with chances and opportunities.
  2. This is more of wondering rather than realization. To know what we are feeling we need to be aware of our feelings. If language(new vocabularies) is a tool for awareness, can language be also be the tool to know ourselves more? I think, it is.

It is kind of obvious(beware this is not proven, just my hypothesis) that vocabularies are tied to our feelings since a word “connotation” does exist.

Well, then it is time to put in more effort into learning languages and expressing myself.

She might have caught my eyes, but I am catching feelings for her.